Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Grandma's Funeral

This weekend was Grandma's funeral. I don't know why, but I have not been that emotional about it. It's not that I didn't love my grandmother because I loved her very much. Perhaps the older I have gotten, the easier it has been for me to deal with death. Perhaps it hasn't really hit me that she is gone. Although she went down quickly, it was harder to see her in the state that she was in than to let her go. She is in Heaven now with a glorified body and none of the pain that she had here on Earth.

We drove up to Chattanooga on Thursday night after Daniel got off work and spent the night at my parents' house. We decided to go there first instead of driving straight to Huntsville because there is no easy way to get to Huntsville from Americus and we would have been driving all night. It is about a 7 hour drive, but you have to understand that with a toddler and a pregnant woman in the car we have to make stops every 2 hours at least for potty breaks and time to stretch our legs. The next morning we decided to hang around for a while and let Taylor get a nap before heading on down to Huntsville. We figured that we would have plenty of time to get to visitation because they were on Central Time. We had breakfast at Chick-fil-A and then took Taylor over to the play area at the mall to expel some energy. While at the mall we took her to one of those walk-in beauty shops to get her hair trimmed. By the time we had lunch and got back to the house to get Taylor down for a nap it was after 1:00. We had planned to leave around 3:00 our time, but it ended up being closer to 3:30. We still had to eat supper and get checked into our hotel room and changed before going to the visitation. I was not going to be rushed and get flustered. I knew that we would be late, but we ended up being almost an hour late. I felt bad about it, but not many of the people coming for visitation knew us anyway. The visitation was from 7:00 - 9:00 our time and we had thought about leaving early to get Taylor to bed, but we decided that we'd better stay the whole time since we were late. It wasn't going to hurt Taylor to be up late this one time.

I never know how Taylor is going to be around a lot of people she doesn't know. She could either be really shy and clingy or she could be wild and running all over the place. When we finally got to the funeral home (we had to call for directions because our GPS wouldn't find it) Taylor was a little clingy at first. She went to Grandmommy (my mother) immediately. She held her a while and showed her off. Taylor also sat in my Grandpa's lap for a little while. I was glad that she did that. He really gets a lot of enjoyment out of the great-grandkids. After Taylor warmed up and more people started leaving Taylor acted as if she had free reign of the place and started running around everywhere. I couldn't keep her contained. My sister's family had already left, so Taylor was the only little one there. She followed me into the bathroom and after that it was as if she had discovered a new play area in the hallway and the lobby. There weren't that many people there by this point, so I didn't try to stop her. I pretty much just tried to keep an eye on her so she wouldn't get hurt or run out the door.

I was really impressed with how friends came all the way down from Chattanooga to support my family. My parents' Sunday school teacher came to the visitation. He prayed with them and while they were praying Taylor came and stood right in front of them and looked up waiting for them to notice her. She then sat down in front of them still looking up at them the whole time. I wish that I had gotten a picture of it. It was almost as if she wanted to pray with them. The pastor who married Daniel and me came to the funeral with his wife. That really meant a lot to see them there.

Once visitation was over we were going to just go back to the hotel room and go to bed, but Daniel was concerned that Taylor was too wound up and wouldn't go to sleep. (We had never stayed in a hotel room with her before, so we weren't sure how she would do with us in the room. We have slept in the same room, but we would always leave the room while she went to sleep and then sneak back in later). We decided to go to Grandpa's house and visit with the rest of the family for a while before going back to our room. I was glad that we did. It gave me some time to be with my family. We don't get to see each other as often since we are spread further apart now. At one point we all ended up in the living room in kind of a circle and Taylor was in the middle of the floor - the center of attention. She was doing sign language and singing songs for everyone. She LOVED all the attention. I think she is going to be a lot like me in the fact that we are both shy around people we don't know well, but once we feel comfortable we really like being around people. I am not one who likes the center of attention though. I do think she gets her energy from being around other people and I am the same way.

The funeral service was on Saturday morning. As we were getting ready I was already regretting letting Taylor stay up so late the night before. It was almost midnight our time by the time we got settled in bed. Taylor did sleep a little later than usual, but every little thing would set her off and I was afraid that she would be grumpy the whole day. My only hope was that she would let me hold her during the service and she would cuddle. Well, I was completely wrong. As soon as we got there around the rest of the family she perked right up. It was like she went into performance mode again. She was happy and running around everywhere.

The service itself was quite formal and suited Grandma very well. She was a very educated and intelligent person and enjoyed trained musicians. My grandparents had just started attending a Methodist church closer to home, and Grandpa loved the Music Minister's voice, so he asked him to sing. Chris has a beautifully trained baritone voice. I was a little bit disappointed that Grandpa hadn't asked my sister and me to sing, but it was for the best because I got sick on the way up and wouldn't have been able to sing a note. The funeral was held in the chapel at the funeral home. The family was kind of backstage behind a wall where no one could see us. This was nice because I knew that we wouldn't be able to keep the kids still. Alicia and Darrin's kids did pretty well. All the kids made a little noise, but that is to be expected of small children. Rebekah did start to walk toward the stage at one point, but I caught her and told her to come back to her seat. She looked a little bit upset, but at least she complied. I didn't get much out of the service because I was so worried about keeping Taylor quiet. Toward the end of the service I was trying to get her to whisper and she did right the opposite. The preacher was praying, so Daniel scooped her up and took her out through the flower room which was also backstage. At the end of the funeral, they closed the curtain and the family walked out the stage door to the hearse. Daniel was already outside with Taylor. I had Daniel's keys and Taylor's shoes in the diaper bag, so Daniel had to put Taylor in my parents' van (which just happened to be unlocked) because she was wanting to get down and walk in the rain in her tights.

Grandma was buried in a crypt on the outside wall of the masoleum. I don't know how many of you have ever been to an internment service at a masoleum before, but it is pretty nice. I assume that most masoleums are pretty similar, but this one had a little place in the middle like a chapel with pews. Since it is made of stone, everything echoed in there. This part of the service was fairly short. If my memory serves me correctly, Chris opened with a hymn, the preacher shared a few words, and then Chris closed with Blessed Assurance. This was probably the most memorable part of the entire day for me. When the preacher prayed and started speaking, Joshua yelled out, "AMEN!!" It was so cute and timely. As Chris was singing Blessed Assurance I wanted to sing along, so I just mouthed the words. Taylor must have been watching me because she starting singing along. The longer the song went the louder she got. It seemed like at the end she was singing at the top of her lungs. I couldn't help but laugh. Everyone thought it was so cute. I don't know how Chris kept his composure. He has small children though, so he knows how they are.

After Grandma was buried we all met back at Grandpa's house for lunch. We had a nice time together as a family until we all went our separate ways. Daniel and I went back to my parents' house in Chattanooga to spend the night again. Taylor was afraid that we were leaving Grandmommy and Granddaddy for good, so we let her ride with them. I was so surprised when they told me that she slept almost the whole way home - and that is a 2 hour ride. She needed the sleep since we kept her up so late the night before. On Sunday after lunch we came home. Taylor did pretty well for most of the trip. I can't complain. She does a whole lot better in the car than she used to. God has really answered prayer in that respect. I think we all pretty much crashed when we got in. Daniel and I are still recovering from all of the traveling. It has worn us out. We are glad to be home though and are not planning to go anywhere for a long time. Now it's time to concentrate on The Day He Wore My Crown - our Easter musical.

If you are interested, my sister posted my Grandmother's obituary on her blog.

Siggie - Winter

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